11 Simple Phrases Leaders Use to Build Strong Teams
Here’s something I’ve seen in every team I coach: big ideas live or die in the tiny moments.
When we talk about leadership, we usually get caught up in big ideas: vision, culture, strategy, resilience. But here’s something I’ve seen in every team I coach: big ideas live or die in the tiny moments. The quiet moments. The everyday words that either build trust or break it.
Most teams don’t fall apart because someone forgot the mission. They drift into confusion and resentment because leaders don’t say what needs to be said. Or they don’t create enough space for their people to say what needs to be heard.
We live in a culture that loves the grand gesture. The big town hall. The fancy slide deck. But what shapes your people’s sense of safety and buy-in? The phrases you use every single day.
This is one of the reasons I talk so much about Slow Change. Transformation rarely shows up all at once. It lives in repetition. In the structures you build for yourself and the ones you build with your people. It’s part of what I call Layer Three in the Resilience Stack — structural resilience. And structural resilience is made up of relational resilience. Which is made up of moments. Which are made up of words.
So, if you’re serious about building a team that can weather storms, create together, and stick around when things get hard, start with the basics. Here are 11 phrases that strong, interdependent leaders use all the time.
1. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Let’s begin with the hardest one for high performers: admitting you don’t know. Many leaders secretly believe their value comes from having the answer first. So they work twice as hard to hide uncertainty.
But uncertainty is not weakness. In fact, when you’re clear about where you don’t have all the answers, you invite your team to step up. You create the kind of trust where people feel safe bringing new ideas to the table.
Saying “I don’t know” doesn’t diminish your authority. It multiplies it. Because it reminds everyone: we solve problems together. You’re not the bottleneck for progress.
2. “This is what I need from you. What do you need from me?”
Clarity kills confusion. Every misalignment I’ve ever seen in a team comes down to expectations that were never named.
Most leaders are good at telling people what they want. Few are good at asking the second question: What do you need from me?
Leadership is not just about giving direction. It’s about being an active participant in making the outcome possible. This phrase signals that you’re not just delegating. You’re sharing responsibility.
3. “Tell me what I’m missing.”
If you want to build a resilient team, you have to be the kind of person people can disagree with.
Most leaders don’t get enough real feedback. They get agreement. They get politeness. But the hard truths never make it to the surface — until the consequences show up.
When you say “Tell me what I’m missing,” you invite truth. You make it safe to point out the blind spots you can’t see. And you get better decisions as a result.
4. “It’s okay to slow down here.”
We reward urgency. But most of the time, urgency is a nervous system reaction, not a strategy.
A leader who can look at the swirling chaos and say, “Let’s slow down,” is giving everyone permission to breathe. To think. To not make a move out of fear or panic.
This is one of the hallmarks of Slow Change: you don’t sacrifice tomorrow for the illusion of speed today. You anchor in the long game.
5. “How can I make this clearer?”
When people misunderstand you, your ego will want to blame them. Strong leaders flip the question.
If people keep asking the same question, they’re not clueless. They’re telling you something is fuzzy.
This phrase shifts the responsibility for clarity back to you. You own your communication. You take the confusion as useful data, not an insult.
6. “I trust you. Take the lead.”
You cannot build interdependence if you hoard all the important decisions for yourself.
When you say “I trust you” — and mean it — you hand over real ownership. You show your people that their ideas, skills, and leadership are valid.
You also make it clear you’re not trying to be the hero of every situation. You’re building leaders, not followers.
7. “What does success look like for you in this?”
This is the difference between micromanagement and true alignment.
Too many leaders assume they know what motivates their people. But humans are messy. Motivations are unique.
When you ask this, you uncover hidden expectations and unspoken needs. You learn what keeps people invested. And you find the win-win — where the business goal and the human goal actually align.
8. “Where could we ask for more help?”
Hyper-independence is the curse of high achievers. It looks noble from the outside — “Look at how much they carry!” — but it’s toxic. It normalizes isolation and teaches everyone else that asking for help is a failure.
If you want to normalize interdependence, make asking for help a standard practice. Put it in the open. Make it a question you ask regularly.
A resilient system isn’t one where no one needs help. It’s one where help flows freely.
9. “Let’s pause and reflect before we move forward.”
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is hold the room.
Teams need reflection time. When we move from decision to decision without looking back, we miss the lessons. The gaps. The pivots that would have saved us time and money.
This phrase signals that speed is not the only metric of progress. It tells people you value learning, not just output.
10. “I appreciate you for…”
Gratitude is not a soft skill. It’s a structural pillar. Humans need to know that what they do matters. That they matter.
A lot of leaders try to do this with generic praise: “Great job.” That’s nice, but it’s not sticky.
Specificity matters. Tell people exactly what you noticed. Exactly how they contributed. Exactly what shifted because of them.
This builds trust. It builds commitment. And it builds a culture where people look for ways to contribute beyond the bare minimum.
11. “This is mine to own — I take responsibility for it.”
Radical self-ownership is the heartbeat of resilient leadership. When things fall apart, most leaders look for who to blame. Strong leaders look for what to own.
Your team watches how you respond to mistakes. If you deflect, they learn to hide. If you own your piece, they learn to trust you.
Shared ownership doesn’t mean blame gets spread around like peanut butter. It means everyone knows what’s theirs to carry — and what’s not.
Final Thoughts
The longer I do this work, the more convinced I am: the best leaders aren’t the ones with the perfect strategy or the fancy vision. They’re the ones who master the small moments. The ones who use simple phrases, over and over, to build safety, clarity, and connection.
Every phrase here is a tool. None of them will matter if they’re just words on a page.
Use them.
Practice them.
Say them when it feels awkward. Say them when you’re tired. Say them when you’d rather hide behind your expertise.
Because in the end, leadership is less about what you know — and more about what you’re willing to say out loud.
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